I don’t think Siri likes women so I’m getting an Alexa – Lesley Keating

‘Hey, Siri,’ he says: ‘Tell me a joke,’ or ‘What’s the time?’ and she happily obliges. They even have a bit of flirty banter sometimes.

But when it comes to me it’s a completely different matter.

I usually engage with Siri when I’m doing yoga at home. I get my mat out and then begin to instigate a conversation with a cheery: ‘Hey, Siri…?’  Only to get a cursory: ‘Hmm?’ or: ‘Uh huh?’ 

I don’t think she likes women. 

Yesterday, for example, I asked her, nicely, to play ‘Chakra music’ to use with my yoga. I must add that she’s managed this perfectly well in the past on more than one occasion. But, for some reason, not yesterday. When I asked she snippily replied: ‘Sure, here’s Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira’.  But, when I attempted to correct her, she loftily said: ‘I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re saying…’

And that’s nothing. The other week I instructed: ‘Hey Siri, play Chill, Zen Meditation Music’.

I lay back, eyes closed, breathing deeply, relaxing my body into my yoga mat…and waited. 

In response, she announced: ‘Sure, here’s Toxic Thrill, Death Metal Compilation. 

I think it’s deliberate.

It’s not just the misunderstandings either. It’s the general passive-aggressive attitude that gets me. She’s sullen and awkward when I ask her anything, but literally bats her eyelashes and twinkles when Mike speaks. 

I ask her to turn the music off and it just stops dead. 

Mike does the same and she simpers: ‘Sure,’ in return. I can hear her flicking her hair over her virtual shoulder. 

She clearly fancies him. And she hates me!  I shall persist as I’m not one to be beaten, however its getting a tad tiresome now. So, if she doesn’t mend her ways I might just get Alexa installed.  Let’s see what she has to say about that!

It only take a moment to say ‘hello’ and make a friend

When I’m out walking the dog, I sometimes notice older neighbours tending gardens or walking dogs.