Portsmouth man who lost both parents aims to take his mental health campaign global

Marcus Tisson was left devastated when his mother Margaret took her own life on August 21, 2016, at Mile End underground station in London.

For Marcus and the rest of his family, this came as a complete shock. ‘I spoke to her the day before she took her life, we were laughing and talking about celebrating her 60th birthday the following year,’ he recalls.

‘To wake up to a phone call seven hours later saying that your mum is dead is the worst kind of pain.’

In the months and years that followed, what Marcus found hard to understand is that someone such as his mum could go through the ‘nightmare’ of battling depression, without turning to himself or any family members.

‘That’s what is really hard for me and my family, and anyone who’s been through my experience,’ he says. ‘I don’t know if she was ashamed of mental health or what it was. It’s been a question I’ve asked myself for the last six years, why couldn't she speak to me, or my aunt, my sister, my uncle. She had a big family network.’

Just a month later, while Marcus was still coming to terms with the loss of his mum, his father Winston, who also suffered from mental health issues his entire life, passed away suddenly - with the cause of death never confirmed.

‘Me and my dad didn’t have the best relationship, but I had planned on reaching out again after my mum died,’ says Marcus. ‘My dad was a schizophrenic, he was in and out of institutions my entire life, he was always in a dark place mentally.’

While his parents were no longer together, Marcus feels his dad died of a broken heart. ‘Losing both parents in two months, it’s hard. I was 38 at the time. You never think in your late 30s that you will lose both parents so quickly,’ adds Marcus.

Five months after his mum’s passing, Marcus started a campaign and support group - Don't Suffer in Silence - which aims to spread awareness for mental health and help break down the stigma around discussing it.

‘She had suffered in silence. That’s something that was instilled in me, just to spread awareness because I know there’s millions of people like her who are still suffering in silence,’ he says. ‘I decided to take something so tragic and turn it into a positive.’

Marcus, a teaching assistant and stand up comedian through to the semi final of South Coast Comedian of the Year, has hosted an array of events raising funds and awareness for his cause. From Stand Up 4 Mental Health comedy nights, to doorstep dances during lockdown and Portsmouth walk and talks.

Now he’s hosting his sixth black tie gala since he started the campaign at the Queen’s Hotel, Southsea, on November 19, bringing it to the city for the first time since he moved to Portsmouth three years ago.

Marcus, who previously held the galas in London, has received backing in past years from reality star Kerry Katona, Jack Fowler and Joanna Chimonides from Love Island. This year he welcomes EastEnders actress Danniella Westbrook as a guest speaker.

‘The gala is a celebration of the end of the year, to get people together for a nice meal and an excuse to get dressed up,’ says Marcus. ‘Everyone is there for the same kind of reason, to spread awareness for mental health.’

The event, with at least 100 guests set to attend, will raise money for South Coast charity Tonic Music for Mental Health.

‘It's just a night to have a good time and for people to connect and meet new people, it’s a really good evening.’

Marcus met his current partner, Sandra Hunt, at the third annual gala after she had followed his campaign on social media and travelled from Portsmouth to London to attend the event.

Since the passing of his parents, Marcus gained a renewed vigour to grab life with two hands, moving to Southsea three months later to be with Sandra, where the pair have lived since.

‘I thought you know what life’s too short, I don’t want to waste anymore time. I wanted a happy ending,’ adds Marcus. ‘I get night terrors, my girlfriend really has helped me through that. I wake up screaming sometimes and she calms me down, without her I don’t know what I'd do.’

Marcus himself struggles with symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and depression as a result of his mum's shock passing.

‘I never had any form of PTSD, anxiety or depression, I was really outgoing guy but the trauma from the suicide has definitely played a part,’ adds Marcus. ‘I have good days and bad days, but I try to keep busy, focussed and positive.’

Marcus is open and honest about his own struggles, sharing them over social media and encouraging others - particularly men - to talk about mental health.

‘Men are taught from a young age not to cry, “You’re gay” “Man up”. Back in the 80s and 90s it was different, especially East London where I’m from, it’s a very macho kind of place. We’re programmed to not talk about our feelings and before I lost my parents, I was one of those guys, it opened my eyes and changed my whole outlook on life,’ says Marcus.

Due to his presence on platforms such as Facebook and Instagram, Marcus receives a lot of messages from men and women, thanking him for inspiring them to speak out.

‘Some people think they’re alone, they’re not. Speak to a friend or family member who loves you, or even just a stranger like me.’

‘I’m not a doctor or a councillor, I just listen to people, and then I send them to a service like Mind or the Samaritans who can really help them. But it costs nothing to listen to someone and sometimes that’s all they need.’

In one candid and poignant post in August this year, Marcus shared the personal moment he visited Mile End underground station for the first time since his mum’s death.

‘Even if I see a train or hear a train, it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but I’ve always said you need to fight your fears. It’s hard but it’s just something I had to do,’ he says.

As a father-of-two, Marcus hopes to share his values with 10-year-old Jesse and Macey, 16.

‘I always tell my kids, especially my son, if you feel sad don’t be afraid to cry and talk to your mum or dad - or anyone - about your feelings.’

Marcus, who works at Priory School, Southsea, says the topic of mental health needs more focus and, ideally, a place in the curriculum.

‘We should teach our kids from a young age how to look after their mental health, if we did there’d be less suicides and people struggling. One day a year on World Mental Health Awareness month is not enough.’

With many accomplishments and awareness events under his belt, Marcus’ next challenge is to create a hub for Don’t suffer in silence. Somewhere local people can come to feel safe and supported.

‘I would like to make a hub for the campaign, to get a place where people can come and talk, with a pool table, table tennis, tv, – like an adult youth club,’ he says. ‘Eventually my ambition is to take the campaign global, it’s my mum's legacy, I want to help people from all around the world.’